Lessons Learned?

I have heard some of my spiritual teachers and friends say that whenever we don´t learn something we are meant to see, the lesson keeps coming back to us in life situations that then get harder and harder to deal with; I completely agree with this.

I have had a great quality I was born with: determination. I have always been very proud to see how focused and determined I can be to accomplish the things I have wanted to do. However, as I have grown older, I have been able to see that I have not truly, tried to do certain things I have wanted to, and I have come to realize that what has stopped me have been my own fears, which I have not always been conscious about.

This year, my yoga practice has deepened a lot. In a spiritual aspect, it has taken a huge leap. Many new insights and understandings have helped me face the challenges I am going through during this period of my life of professional transition.

Physically, it has showed great improvements as well, and the most interesting thing about it is that my weekly asana practice has decreased a lot in comparison to last year or the year before. Nevertheless, I have been able to advance much more as I have broken through new levels of consciousness with my meditation practice and the actions in my life that are getting me closer to live the life of my dreams. Which only translates to the fact that facing my fears in all aspects of my life has helped me improve my asana practice as well as my asana practice was the enabler for emotional, mental and spiritual changes in the past.

I am currently in a very unstable ground in pretty much all areas of my life, all of which I am risking to make the changes I need to live my life more fully. I have realized that the only thing that would make me fail at this, will be allowing my deepest fears to take control of the thoughts and emotions I have towards all this process, which will prevent me from keeping the promises I have made to myself. The most interesting thing about it all, is that some of those fears, are ones that I thought I had already overcome, but I have come to see that they are just presenting themselves in a different way, disguised if you may, and they are coming out again because I have reached a deeper level of awareness of myself and of my view of the Universe. I firmly believe that by remembering the insights I have had up until this moment of my life and applying that knowledge into this situation, will completely make me overcome and surpass those fears; and with them, the obstacles I am facing right now. I will finally change many patterns of my life and I will find the stability in all the areas I am risking right now.

One thing that has helped me recognized this was seeing where my asana practice is going with certain poses I have been “working” on this year. These asanas have triggered deeper fears and I see the way I am approaching this challenge and it is exactly the same way I am approaching the challenges off the mat. I am kind of working on it, but not as much as I could because I have let my fears take the patience disguise deal and I have said to myself, there is no need to hurry, so I have diverted my attention from them and haven´t practiced them as much as I should; which is exactly what I am doing with other areas of my life: I am making changes, and thinking in a different way than I used to, but I am taking, at times, a very passive attitude towards few important actions I have to get done.

So, the promise I have made to myself: I am committed to practice this poses at least once a week and I am committed to take the actions I have put on hold by the end of this week.

My main themes for my practice throughout this year, week and the weeks to come: Courage and Determination.

Poses: scorpion, headstand transitioning to viparita dandasana and coming back from it to down dog.

What are the commitments you have made to yourself? Are you honoring them?

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